IF.....

hmm i don't know from where i should start the story. it's about my ex crush and i. after we graduated 10th grade my friends asked me to go to the cinema with my ex crush and some of my friends. we had fun together and there were some stories which make me reminding him again. first, when we entered the cinema, we walked behind the others and he touched my head. second, he always walked beside or near me but i didn't know it was happened by accident or not. and last the most unforgetable one when we walked back to the school, he was in the front and i was at the back but suddenly he walked more slowly so he was beside me and the others were in front of us. both of us walked together at the back and had a lot of conversations. honestly, i really missed that time. in my birthday party he came with his friends. i took some photos with everyone who came including him. we took 3 photos and when i cut the birthday cake, i must gave it to someone special and i gave to him. we had a lot of pictures in that moment. after we arrived at home, we texted each other and he said he felt really happy because of the cake and i said to him about what i felt at that time. i was very happy but i knew i shouldn't did it because the condition was different than in the past. he asked me to send our photos. i won't upload it,let it be our memory,only he and i :) the next day we still texted like in the past. does it mean i give him a second chance?my friend said that i couldn't lie to myself, i said i want to forget him but my heart felt hurt if i did it. aaaaa i still confused about my feeling right now. i don't know what should i do because i'm scared of falling for him again. and sometimes i want to ask : God, don't You allowed me to forget him?because when i tried it i would dream about him and it made me reminding him again. and why does everything always come so late? if everything happened in the past....................................................