this month i always sleep after 2a.m almost everyday
i don't know why november always not so good to me
a lot of thoughts always come before i'm going to sleep
actually i don't know what exactly i was thinking about
everything just comes out every night and make myself feel so hard to close my eyes and sleep
i guess i'm just tired..
tired of the situation that always make me can't sleep at the right time
tired of being tired, not because of my final school project, it's because i'm tired so i can't think clearly, it is so disturbing and i'm scared i can't get through this well
tired of pretending that i'm alright, but i don't like to show this to the people. i don't want when people see me they know if i have a problem. i don't like being asked "what happen" because they just pretend to care, they don't really care
tired of taking a pity to myself. i care too much to other people feeling until i forget if i have a feeling that want to be cared by others too :')
it makes me hate myself..
i hate myself who pretend to be strong when actually i'm not
i hate myself who can't talk and show my feeling in front of the others easily
i hate myself who just can write all my feeling on this blog
i hate myself who aren't strong enough to face all my problems by myself
i hate myself who always ask God to accompany me when i can't sleep
sorry God i bother You every night..
but i need Your strength to face all this things..
No comments:
Post a Comment