"friends"

Hello, it's been a long time i haven't update my blog! This semester is superrrrrrr tiring. A week before submission, i always sleep only 1-2 hours. But thanks God, it almost over, just left one more month for the last project then going for internship and it will be the end of sem 4 :D

Actually today is the last day of the submission for all the modules that i had and i realized if i became an "unsociable" person. Almost of my friends say that, especially my high school's friends. Not because i don't want to play with them, but i just can't manage my time well :(
Usually, we always go together at least on the weekend but when i have a free day, i went to thailand for educational trip with my school. So, it almost two months i didn't go with them.

Today, i skip going with my school mates and chose to go with my high school's friends. It was fun! And i enjoy going with them. But, it also made me think about something. I didn't know what they said and the story that they talked about hahaha. So, i just keep quite and listen them talking. It's ok for me, because i know it was my fault not to manage my time with them but i don't know why i felt sad too.

Then it made me think about the word "FRIENDS". I don't know who is my best friends yet hahaha maybe people judge me as an extrovert person, but they don't know the other side of myself :P i do have a lot of friends, and i close to some of them. But, are they my BEST FRIEND or my GOOD FRIEND? One of my friends told me if i put a wall in front of myself that made others can't be in the inner circle of myself. "But, how do we know when to let someone in to deepest circles of our lives?" Maybe my past experiences really affects the way i thought about friends. They can be "BETTER" than your enemies. So, i think it's better to build the wall..

*but still wondering who will break my wall later hahahaa

the better one will definitely come

it's been a long time i don't think about my future

until that day comes...

actually, this is my one and a half year living in Singapore but i don't know why i feel so bored.

not because i don't like my school, but i just get bored to do the same thing everyday. you just go to school, do the things that the teachers ask you to do, go home and sleep. i love my friends and i love to live with both of my brothers together here and i think maybe that's the thing that make me feel "bored". sometimes i wonder to live in the far far away place where nobody knows me and nobody that i know. it will make me become more mature and independent as well hahaha 

suddenly, there was a good news...

i just know if my school can do the transfer credit to another university but you have to quit before the next semester start which means this semester is my last chance! if i quit from my school after i finished my fourth semester, i don't need to work here and the MOE will release me, there is no bond to work, and no need to pay the fine too! it sounds good, right? So i start to search some universities where i can transfer my credit there

i have given my transcript to one of the university in Vancouver, Canada. My transcript wasn't too bad :p so they said i don't need to redo my second year there. if i study there, i can continue directly to the third year (to finish the diploma) and one more year to finish my degree!!

unfortunately...

the application for the new admission has already closed just a few days ago. i just feel soooooo disappointed. if only i could turn back the time :(

sometimes i regret not to know about the transfer credit things from the beginning. i just missed one of the biggest chance to change my life :(

but, whatever that happened, i have to give thanks to Him! maybe this time is not the right time for me to go there. So from now on, i have to focus to finish my diploma in Singapore and i hope i can go to another country to continue my degree later. because i know He has the best plan for my life. the better one will definitely come (:

chasing pavements

what does hurt most?
trying to let you go and watching you with someone else or keep waiting about something that may never happen?
it's just getting harder and more hurt as well..
how i wish i could turn back the time..

"should i give up or should i just keep chasing pavements?
even if it leads nowhere"

I've made up my mind,
Don't need to think it over,

If I'm wrong I am right,

Don't need to look no further,

This ain't lust.

I know this is love but,

If i tell the world,

I'll never say enough,

Cause it was not said to you,

And that's exactly what i need to do,

If i'm in love with you,

Should i give up,

Or should i just keep chasing pavements?

Even if it leads nowhere,

Or would it be waste?

Even if i knew my place should i leave it there?

Should i give up,

Or should i just keep chasing pavements?

Even if it leads nowhere

I'd build myself up,

And fly around circles,

Waiting as my heart drops,

And my back begins to tingle

Finally could this be it

Should i give up,

Or should i just keep chasing pavements?

Even if it leads nowhere,

Or would it be waste?

Even if i knew my place should i leave it there?Should i give up,

Or should i just keep chasing pavements?

Even if it leads nowhere

Adele - Chasing Pavements